A Starved Mutt's Confusion 7/04/2003

Caring is such an odd thing.Someone tells you over and over that you're different and that they could never hate you, but then when you begin to care for someone their tune changes very quickly. She asked rose not to speak of this, because her boyfriend reads her diary (you know, boyfriend, the element that makes me wonder why it should matter if I care for someone) but considering I've spoken of her in the past, hopefully she hasn't directed him to my journal. Therefore, I believe I will speak of it. I was expected before to wait for fragments of care. I've used twice now the metaphor of a starved puppy craving a dropped scrap from the table. I guess I'm just selfish, because I wanted more than that. Then I found someone who returned the care I gave them, and welcomed my care as I welcomed her's. Then what happens? I have someone whom I've cared for a bit, who told me she'd never hate me turn the tables. Its really starting to seem as if I'm going to have to choose between them. I really don't want to have to do that, they are both very important to me. Argg. Feelings are stupid.

*Pulls out chunk of hair and lays it at Wendi's feet*

@ )~`~~,~|